Fractured Fairy Tails
by Kate Has The Wings
Summary: What if Kuwabara and Hiei were Hosts for a Childrens show? What If Hiei told his own stories? Will Hiei kill Kuwabara? And Since when is Hiei on Anti-Depressants?
1. Default Chapter

Fractured Fairy tails.

Summary: If Hiei, and Kuwabara had jobs as Children's TV hosts? What if Hiei was on anti depressants? What if Hiei was the one to tell the stories? What if this show went Nation wide? What happens when you mix Hiei with Childrens stories, and Kuwabara? Welcome to Fractured fairy tails.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, or the stories used in here.

Story time.

Hiei and Kuwabara sit on a couch in your TV, they are are surrounded by little kids, and Hiei is slightly frightened.

"Welcome to Story time, I'm Kuwabara, and this is Hiei." Kuwabara introduced "Today our story will be The Robber Bridegroom, why don't you start us off, Hiei?"

"Once there was a miller, whose daughter grew into a beautiful woman." Hiei stopped and looked at Kuwabara. "You aren't seriously going to make me read this, are you??

"Don't worry, you'll like this story." Kuwabara said

"The miller knew his daughter was ready for a husband,and knew he had to find one soon. One day a handsome young man, who appeared to have alot of money, showed up to court the miller's daughter. The miller thought he was a fine suitor, but his daughter felt differently.

Something about her bridegroom filled the girl with unbearable dread.

'Say, you're my bride-to-be, but you never come see me.' The bridegroom noticed.

'But I-I don't know where you live!' The girl lied

'Nonsense, it is in the deepest part of the forest! Come over on sunday, and I'll mark the trail for you, so you won't get lost.' The bridegroom smiled

That sunday she set out into the forest, folowing the trail that her Bidegroom had marked with stones. She walked, and walked, until the sun was about to set. Soon enough she reached her destination. She had the strangest feeling about this place, it creeped her out.

When she went inside she heard the stairs creak, and a small voice.

'Turn back, pretty bride,

in this house you must not abide,

for here evil things betide!'

She ignored this, and kept exploring, soon going into the basement. When she arrived, an old woman sat at a cauldron.

'Pardon me, does my bridegroom live here?'

'Oh, poor child! Don't you know where you are?! This is the den of killers!' The woman whispered in a rushed scared tone. 'He plans to kill you! You thought you were to be married, he lied! They ordered me to boil this water over the fire. When they get you under their control, they'll chop you up, cook you, and yes, my dear, they will eat you.' The lady paused 'Your bridegroom and his friends are Cannibals!'

'Oh, here they come!' The young lady was frightened

'Hide here!' The woman hid the young bride behind a big barrel.

The bridegroom came home, with his gang, and with someone else, someone who did not want to be there.

'Let me go! Help, please, I'll do anything!' The young woman they held screamed."

Hiei stopped reading, and looked at Kuwabara. "You know me too well." was all he said, and sat on Kuwabara's shoulder affectionatley, before he started reading again.

"The bridegroom forced the helpless girl to drink drugged wine, and threw her to the floor, waiting for her to become unconcious. The girl didn't flee, because she couldn't, the drugs were fast acting, and lethal. Soon she was out cold.

'She's out, boys, Let's get her clothes off.' The bridegroom smiled sadistically.

The gang laid her on a table top, and looked down upon her, like the cannibals they were."

Hiei threw down the book, and decided he could make the story better, slipping into Kuwabara's lap, who blushed. Hiei looked at the children intently telling his tale.

"The bridegroom slid the knife across his finger, making sure it was sharp enough, before he slowly slid it down her abdomen, and suddenly stabbed it in, and scooped out a partial amount of her guts.

Another man kept hacking at her arm, and like no one expected, she woke up! She saw her stomache cut open, blood rushing from it, as her vision began to blur, she felt the man hacking away at her arm, and then she finally succumbed to the painfulness of the cruelty.

One man, was chopping her wrist off, noticed the golden engagement ring on the finger, so he chopped the finger off! The finger went flying, and it landed in the young bride's lap, as she sat behind the barrel. The man went to retrieve the bloddy finger-"

"But the old woman stopped him." Kuwabara cut in, and tried to make the story some-what acceptable to society. "'Go and eat,' The woman said, 'It will be there in the morning, while the fresh meat may not.'

The woman slipped sleeping drugs into the men's drinks, and within the hour, the men were alseep. The two ladies ran to the miller's house.

When she arrived home she told the story to her father, who decided to set a trap for the bridegroom. When the wedding day arrived, they all sat around a table telling stories, when it was the brides turn, she told of a 'dream' she had, she told the story of her bridegrooms true nature.

'The severed finger fell into my lap.' The bride sighed

The bridegroom was in a tight situation. 'But, my dear, it was only a dream!'

'Was it?!' She asked, and held up the severed finger, and ring.

The bridegroom tried to flee, but wedding guests caught him. He and his gang were hung that day, for the crimes they had committed." Kuwabara finished, smiling at Hiei, who looked hurt and astonished that he ruined such a good story! "The End!"

"You do realize you ruined a perfectly good story, right?" Hiei asked

"Considering this show is PG, and you turned it into and PG-13, I had to save our butts, and hope we're here next week." Kuwabara sighed

Hiei glomped Kuwabara. "Still a good story."

Hiei licked Kuwabara's cheek, and hugged him affectionatley.

"Did Kurama put you on more anti-Depressants?" Kuwabara asked

"Yup!" Hiei smiled brightly. "Have I told you recently that I love you?"

"How many did you take?"

"16... or maybe it was 26..." Hiei mumbled

"Hiei, I have a present for you..." Kuwabara smiled

"Really? Lemme have it!!!" Hiei begged

"You asked for it!" Kuwabara hit Hiei with a metal pipe, which knocked Hiei unconcious.

"Join us next time, if there is one!" Kuwabara waved, and your TV screen goes to the commercials, and then credits, and you switch channels.

Kitty-wings: If you want another, tell me in reveiw form! I had to write it... The story of The Robber Bride Groom does NOT belong to me, I just elaborated on The Book of Grimm. YYH. Doesn't belong to me either, I just own Kuwabara's affections, right, my love?

Kuwabara: Of course!

Kitty-Wings: Does things NOT PG rated to Kuwabara, and waves goodbye, dragging Kuwabara to a secluded room. 

Kuwabara: Enjoys it emensly 

TBC???


	2. We're Back on Air!

Kitty-Wings: Episode two, I am quite aware that it is Fractured fairy tale, but Tails is original.

Your TV flickers on in the middle of the night, for no apparent reason. It wakes you, and it is tuned to Fractured Fairy Tails, so you listen in, eyes closed, so you can imagine each and every detail.

"Welcome, I'm Kuwabara, and the little guy is Hiei. Tonights tale is Joys and Sorrows. Take it away, Hiei." Kuwabara smiled

Hiei picked up the book, and sat on Kuwabara's lap, curling into his chest.

"Once there was a Tailor who had avery virtuous, and loving wife, but he never appriciated her.

' Come here you wicked woman! I'll teach you a thing or two!' The Tailor would call.

Sometimes he even beat her."

Hiei looked up at Kuwabara. "You know how to pick them out, don't you?" Hiei smiled

"Again with the Anti-Deppressant!" Kuwabara smiled

"Eventually, the court found out about this whole situation, and he was sent to Jail."

Hiei threw the book away, and sat up, and made his own story.

"'I'll give you one more chance, but you must share the joys and Sorrows with your wife, as couples are meant to do!' The Judge said.

But soon he was back to his old ways, hitting her, beating her, and throwing things at her as she fled the yard. When he was arrested again he was before the judge.

'I did as I promised, I shared the Joys and sorrows!' The Tailor pleaded.

'What?! I don't understand!' The judge was baffled.

'When I hit her, it was a joy for me, and a sorrow for her, when I missed it was a joy for her and a sorrow for me.'"

Kuwabara cut in quickly realising the posible danger. "The judge was not impressed with the Tailors explination, so he ordered the man to be locked up for the rest of his life. And the Tailor got his just desserts."

"You ruined it again." Hiei sighed. "But you still picked another good story!" Hiei kissed Kuwabara's cheek.

"Hiei, Tell Kurama that he needs to take you off the Zoloft." Kuwabara smiled

"Aw.... But it makes me happy!" Hiei whined.

Kuwabara hit Hiei with the Metal Pipe, and said his goodnights to the audience.

Your TV shut off just as quickly as it had turned on, and you fell back asleep, more rested the next morning than ever before. You wondered Exactly when the next Episode would be, and then as you ate dinner, it popped on once again.

Kitty-Wings: Short, yes, but I get more stories out this way.


End file.
